It was December 2020. The world had been in the midst of the Covid pandemic for nine months already and there was no end in sight. After four years of hardship that had left me depleted in every way (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally), I was a few months into the first stage of healing that the Lord would take me through, a period of physical convalescence—intentional rest and restoration from the effects of cancer treatment on top of the years of unrelenting exhaustion and stress.
It was during this moment that I heard the Lord whisper, "It's time."
I had been waiting. I knew eventually the time would come. I would finally put into words the story of our son's prenatal diagnosis, of the shock, the trauma, the Lord's nearness and faithfulness, the unexpected outcome, the Lord's greatness. I knew that God had a plan for His fame and glory to be proclaimed through our journey. It was time to write Nate's story.
"But how will I find the time to write?" I asked, thinking about my full-time job as the mother of three spirited children, four-year-old twins and an eight-year-old boy, a job that left little energy in the tank by the end of the day.
The Lord addressed my concern a couple of months later by inspiring my wonderful parents to offer childcare once a week.
"Okay, Lord, I'll write the book, but how will I ever publish it? I haven't the slightest idea where to even start."
Once again, I heard His whisper: "Focus on the Family."
I knew that Focus on the Family, an incredible ministry that had blessed me many times over the years, published books and was a strong advocate for the unborn, but it seemed impossible that they would publish mine. I mean, who was I anyway? Just a wounded, fearful nobody.
"I don't know how You're going to do it, Lord, but I'll trust You to open the door. I'm not going to worry about that yet though. I'm just going to start writing."
And so in early 2021 I did. Little by little, week by week, the book began to take shape. And as I relived the trauma, the fear, the injustice, and the dark days, a torrent of sobs and tears would overflow from my battered soul—sobs that cleansed, tears that restored. The Lord's presence bathed me as the trauma began to wash away. Little by little, week by week, my soul began to heal. The second stage of healing had begun.
In the summer of 2021, as a subscriber to Focus on the Family’s e-newsletter, I received a mass email from them asking if I had a pro-life story to share. Well, yes I do, I thought as I scripted a summary of our story. I clicked send and swiftly forgot about it.
Then one cold January day in 2022, my phone rang. I saw that the caller was from Colorado, but ignored the call assuming it was a scam. The caller left a message. It was someone named Erin from Focus on the Family, and she was interested in interviewing my husband, Mauricio, and I for their See Life 2022 campaign. I was astounded!
Full of nervous excitement, I redialed. Erin answered. We talked about my prenatal diagnosis experience, Nate’s amazing recovery, and the possibility of an interview.
“I’m actually writing a book about Nate’s story,” I told her.
“Really? Interesting…Well, no promises, but I happen to work with the publishing team at Focus.”
My heart leapt. No way! Was this how God was going to open the door for my book to be published? I filed the information away and focused on the unfolding plans to visit Focus on the Family’s headquarters in Colorado Springs, but the idea of approaching her one day about my book percolated quietly.
A few months later on what ended up being a chilly May weekend in Colorado Springs—chillier than Calgary, our hometown, a three-hour drive north of the US/Canada border—Mauricio and I received a warm welcome at Focus by the film crew and director. Never one to enjoy being in the limelight or speaking off-script, I was a ball of nerves. Please Lord, help me to speak well. Help me to effectively share this story and Your faithfulness for Your glory, I prayed.
The interview flowed seamlessly, and afterwards, Erin and the Executive Director of Advocacy for Children came to meet us, two truly lovely people who shared with us a common appreciation for the sanctity of unborn life. And so, a connection was made, a connection that might, just might, lead to the small potential that my book could be considered for publishing.
Back at home, I continued to write, word by word, page by page, chapter by chapter. At times I wondered if I’d ever finish. Weeks could go by where I wrote not a word, but I knew I had to press on—giving up was not an option. The Lord had told me to write, and my job was to obey.
Stay tuned for Part 2. Don't want to miss it? Join my email community for timely doses of hope and encouragement and receive these messages right to your inbox. Why? Because life can be hard and hope is essential. As a welcome gift, I'll send you Chapter 1 of my book, Saving Nate: Choosing Life After a Hopeless Prenatal Diagnosis.
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